Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
