I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
