found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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