He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
