That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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