I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
