My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
