dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
