woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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