I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
