My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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