Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
