lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am puke
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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