"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
