so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
should my penis look like a turkey
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
