Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize