help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
