Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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