have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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