Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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