so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
