Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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