why didn't you poke me back
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
