you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
