The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize