I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
