Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
