Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I cut my penus on the lid.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
no you cant smoke seaweed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
