Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
