Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
