I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
