my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
