You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
