She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
