haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
