we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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