I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
