I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
