and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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