Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
