Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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