he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
