Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think my moral compass just broke
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
