Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
its liver damage thursday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
