One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
