my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
do nipples grow back?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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