now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
