i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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