atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
