just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ugly people sure do ruin things
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Are my feet made of real feet?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
