Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think people are normalizing furries
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
