called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
