did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize