I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize