i just wanna soil my oats bro
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
