We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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