Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
