now i know why i became what i already was.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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