I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
being pregnant is like rehab
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
