Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
